Family

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses…..

I have been moved by the journey of more that 52,000 children from Latin America to the United States in the last several weeks. While mass migrations many times greater are common in other parts of the world, it seems much more poignant when these individuals cross the border into the United States.  I cannot imagine hugging my child for what may be the last time to send him on a dangerous journey of many hundreds of miles in hopes that he will have a better life than the one I am able to provide for him.  I am reminded of the images from 1975 when Vietnamese parents thrust their frightened children into the arms of Westerners as Saigon fell at the hands of the Communists.  Being the Americans that we are, citizens have stepped forward offering their opinions to address this crisis.  Some say send them back; others suggest we provide a safe haven for the neediest among us.  My dear friend and former missionary, Daniel Thompson, spent a number of  years working in a refuge camp in Southeast Asia.  I am curious as to his response to this crisis.

I am pleased to say that Catholic Charities in Fort Worth is spearheading an initiative to render aid to these children.  In fact, they are taking applications for those interested in fostering these children.  A very wise federal judge in Dallas has made a way for 2000 of these children to be sheltered in Dallas until such time a more permanent solution may be found.  Whether these children stay in the US, or return to their home countries is an issue for another day.  Today, the issue is to find avenues of compassion and care for them.  The writer of Hebrews provides us with an interesting perspective, “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”

How can a parent forget his child?

Much has been made of the recent tragedy in Marietta, Georgia where 33 year old Justin Harris left his 22 month old son, Cooper,  in the car for 7 hours strapped in a car seat, resulting in the death of the child by intense heat exhaustion.  There is no way to know the suffering that this little boy endured.  Public outrage has been intense with some calling Mr. Harris a murderer, while others suggest that he is a grieving father who mistakenly did the unthinkable.  Either way, the loss is tragic and so sad.  I am grateful that it is not my job to determine the truth.  Twenty-two years ago this month, my wife and I brought home our first child, a daughter. Her birth was greatly anticipated and we were excited and nervous to be first time parents.  I carefully drove our small family home from the hospital–much to the chagrin of all the other drivers on the road that day.  The first night I kept waking up to make sure the baby was still breathing.  Her mother and I delighted in every moment with our daughter.  She became our world and our schedules revolved about here.  Fourteen months later, our second daughter arrived and then nearly six years after that, our son made his way into our hearts and lives.  My children live 12 hours away from me now, but I still think of them every single day.  They are the apples of my eye.

Over the years I have worked with men and women who were not the apples of their parents’ eye.  In fact, while they were not left in a hot car to perish, they were forgotten and cast aside.  One dear lady named Sasha bore the scars of abuse at the hands of her father, and perhaps even more painful, the neglect of her mother.  I met Sasha in  her second marriage.  Her first husband was sadly much like her father.  She was angry and wounded.  Her anger kept most people at bay.  Her current marriage was in jeopardy.  She ruminated over her past hurts and seemed to be defined by them.  When I asked Sasha about God, she retorted that if God really cared about her, then He would not have let father abuse her and her mother stand by and do nothing.  Toward the end of our conversation, I read the words of the prophet Isaiah to Sasha, “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?  Though she may forget, I will not forget you!  See I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.”  Sasha broke and began to weep.  You may feel forgotten, wounded and alone today.  The One who made you will not forget you.  In fact, your name is written on the palm of  His hand.

Struggling Adolescence

Valuable Information to Help You and Your Teenager.

More than ever adolescents are suffering from mental disorders, behavioral problems, and emotional pain. Due to the severe breakdown of the nuclear family within the past 40 years children are not getting their needs met. These crucial needs consist of: (Unconditional Love, Belonging, Wisdom, Guidance, Discipline, Morality, and Encouragement). Unfortunately most adolescence do not feel comfortable to disclose their personal lives with their parents out of fear of disappointing them. Teens often avoid discussing their “failures” or struggles with their parents because of the pain and disappointment associated with them.
When a child’s needs aren’t met they will seek to meet them on their own. The majority of the time adolescence engage in self destructive behaviors and rarely receive appropriate guidance to break free of them. Drugs, Alcohol, Premarital Sex, Destructive Relationships, Trouble with the Law, and Violence are just a few. Depression, Anxiety, Self Harm, and the inability to have successful relationships are generally the result. Adolescents can be set up for failure when faced with the deadly combination of unmet needs and self destructive behaviors.

These struggles are more severe but many teens experience depression even from common every day teenage occurrences. These include relationships with peers and the opposite sex as well as pressure to achieve the most in life. Be honest with yourself, how many times has your teen complained to you about something seemingly insignificant and in your head you say, “Your have it easy, you don’t even know what real problems are”. Understandable thought given the comparison between your life stage and your teen’s minimal responsibilities. However, it is important to know that psychological struggles are not based on what happens to people. Instead it based on the meaning we associate with the events in our lives. Even though a simple break up may seem insignificant in the life of your teen, it can be a sole cause of full blown depression. It is no surprise that adolescents are in such pain.

All teens need a strong adult figure in their life that isn’t stuck with the role of being your teen’s parent. Counseling provides your teen with a healthy mentor in a safe environment where they can freely work through difficult struggles. Not to mention the training, tools, and experience that adolescence can greatly benefit from.

Youth, Marriage and Family Mental Health Specialist Paul D. Myers
Parenting, Adolescence and children’s emotional / behavioral problems,
Depression and Anxiety

7604 San Jacinto Place
Plano, TX 75024
pmyers@mechcenter.org
972 345 6788

Parenting and Its Crucial Secrets

Valuable information for all Parents

Parenting is one of the most complicated yet crucial stages in life. No two children are the same therefore each child requires a specific style of parenting. Parents have the ability to “make” or “break” their children. Many times we are unaware of just how important good parenting really is. However, there is a positive and negative way to parent. With parenthood comes tremendous power (power to mold your child into a positive, healthy, successful adult or mold them into rebellious, self destructive, unhealthy adults). We are products of our environment (to an extent) and our parents make up 90% of that environment throughout our developmental years. Children will learn two very critical points before age 11 (What kind of world do I live in and what kind of person am I). Children answer these questions mostly based on the environment their parents provide. You can imagine the variety of complications that can arise from a child who has learned they are not valuable or that “something is seriously wrong with me and the world I live in”. Fortunately, children are just as impressionable and receptive to positive experience and can be molded into happy, healthy, children with lives defined by success. The key to successful parenting is about balance.

Counseling provides the knowledge, tools, and specific application of parenting styles catered uniquely for your child. I want you to be the next family I help!

Marriage and Family Mental Health Specialist Paul D. Myers
Parenting, Adolescence and children’s emotional / behavioral problems,
Depression and Anxiety

7604 San Jacinto Place
Plano, TX 75024
pmyers@mechcenter.org
972 345 6788